Friday, March 9, 2012

Little bursts of happiness.

I was thinking it might be lonely with my kids going back to school
after homeschooling for so many years....

Funny to to eat lunch by myself
I enjoy the silence.
Just me and the dogs

I can write my shopping list ...and read the labels at the market
Experiencing how awesome it is to come with all the food on the list.
..not just a few items, since being diverted 20 million times by my kids

That's pretty neat!

I can work on my yarns and wool
all day
It's actually really amazing I feel like a grown up.
My husband calls me 
" the Alchemist "

 thesaurus definition:
( love that)

 Color wizardry

 I have been with my children every day for 17 years.
Good Grief.

sleepless nights
breast feeding
  changing dirty diapers
no more nappers to tip toe around

Hi who are you again?
Oh yeah, I am Camilla...I vaguely remember.

My children gave me such a gift
 a sense of freedom and letting go

I could live my life free of makeup,
hair in clump on top of my head attached with a grocery rubber band if need be
eat "peanutbutterjellies ' alfresco
in the sand box in the park.
who doesn't love that?
I was in the moment with my kids...I couldn't care less.

almost 2 decades later it feels good to get acquainted with
 me again.
 toute seule

A sense of freedom letting go of them.

Be in my own space
not always bumping into someone in the kitchen.

I can listen to The Smiths
  find the good old "hairbrush microphone"
and sing along breaking the sound barrier- if I so wish.
girlfriend in a coma....

sometimes I forget.

I don't want to forget
 who I was
 who I am.

Amazing to think a thought
without interruption.

All I need is a moment.
and little burst of happiness occur


...and then my children come barreling thru the door after school
and life is good
 really good.
I missed them.
more bursts of happiness.


  1. You've caught me smiling at the familiar in your post.

  2. Somedays, I don't do anything...just stuff for me and I don't feel guilty one bit. Because as soon as they come home, I'm on for them!

  3. The best thing about you now is that you have absorbed all those wonderful experiences that you had together and you are an even better you than you were before!!!
    Enjoy the space and time for you. x

  4. this is lovely. i know when the mr. takes the kids out to the library or the lake to feed the ducks, i enjoy those moments of quiet but find if they're gone too long i began to get antsy until they walk through the door. and then i laugh at myself because i've been craving mama time and the whole time i'm wondering about them, what they're doing...this mama thing'll throw you for a loop, n'est-ce pas?

  5. So much news C! Good to see you in all your new incarnations. Much love

  6. love this, I do! i’m still struggling a little with ‘who exactly is ivey?’ you expressed this perfectly!


May the Warm Winds of Heaven
Blow softly upon your house.
May the Great Spirit
Bless all who enter there.
May your Mocassins
Make happy tracks
in many snows,
and may the Rainbow
Always touch your shoulder.

~ Cherokee Prayer Blessing

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